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2016: a year.

2016: a year.

When 2015 closed and 2016 began, I wrote, rather snarkily, that my singular goal for the new year was “to go forth and kick ass.” No doubt that life is hard to plan for any of us, especially a year out, and especially when you’ve just had your second kid and are getting used to life with two kids, your oldest starting school, and the whirlwind of change that your body and mind goes through postpartum, so perhaps needless to say, I had no fucking clue how 2016 would pan out. Having done this postpartum dance before with running, I knew that it’d behoove me to simply take things a day at a time — really, that’s all that any of us can ever do, right? — and to not get too far ahead of myself.

The executive summary: my 2016 year of running, somewhere around 2010-2020 miles, was fantastic, though at times, it was shitty. Racing and training was arguably better in 2016 than it’s ever been, depending on how you slice it, and most importantly — and I do mean most importantly — the miles, the training, the racing, all of it was injury-free. I can’t ask for more than that.

Some highlights and lowlights from the year, in no particular order:

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Running trails more frequently. I’m incredibly fortunate to live in an area of the country that has basically perfect running weather year-round and one that’s also home to a rich array of trails. While many parks and preserves require a decent drive from where I live, Monument Peak and Alum Rock are both very nearly in my backyard, and I spent more time running in both and AR and MP this year than in years past. Whether I was running with the baby through parts of AR with Wolfpack teammate Janet or going long with Saurabh and company on their 50k/50mi/100k training runs through Monument Peak (et al), I’ve come to the realization again and again that trail running is just good for the soul. It may sound like hippy-dippy-nonsense shit, but god is it true. I love roads, I love running as fast as I can and racing to exhaustion, but there really is something to be said for chasing elevation for a change and hauling ass up what seems like veritable Everests so you can experience a piece of the world that’s inaccessible otherwise. And — practically speaking — I’m convinced that the trails and hills made me faster on roads, helped keep me healthy, and got me strong as I worked on my strength in this first year postpartum.   

what up, Monument Peak
what up, Monument Peak
Mission-bound
Mission-bound

Tons of stroller miles with one/both of the girls. I spent tons of time on the road with one or both of my girls in 2016, either for regular ol’ training runs or “commuting” (to/from school drop-offs/pick-ups). Stroller running makes the already challenging motion of running much more difficult, no doubt, but it also makes it a lot more fun (usually). These days, when I ask the baby if she wants to go for a run, she basically drops whatever she’s doing and has a big smile on her face and runs in the direction of the stroller. Big Sis will often ask to go on a run with me, big smile across her face, too, so I feel like I’m doing something right here. I don’t push my kids to like this sport just because I do, but it’s nice to know that they’re growing up knowing that regular physical activity is part of a normal/healthy lifestyle.

these two
these two

Volunteering and spectating at RNR SJ and CIM with Big Sis. I love racing, but I think spectating comes in at a very close second. Again this year, Big Sis and I volunteered with Wolfpack as course monitors along the RocknRoll San Jose course. Doing so allowed us to keep the runners safe (natch) while we cheered and cowbelled our little hearts out. There’s no shame in my game, here: I can’t tell you how much I teared up watching Big Sis cheer her heart out for the runners, and the joy on her face when runners veered over to her for side-5s couldn’t have been more perfect. In December, we trekked up to Sac to spectate and cheer at mile 21 at CIM. It was a perfect day for a marathon, and we got to spend part of the morning with Paula while we all cheered and cowbelled so hard that one of us (ahem) began to feel very, very faint. If you ever want to make a five year-old’s day at a race, take two steps outside the tangent to give her/him a side-5.

RNR SJ '16
RNR SJ ’16
mi 21 at CIM '16
mi 21 at CIM ’16

Racing in FL over a girls’ weekend with my mom, sister, and sister-in-law. Over my sister’s birthday weekend, she, our mother, and my sister-in-law and I all flew to Jacksonville, FL, for a girls’ weekend away at the beach. I had won an entry to a half marathon there, and the weekend shook out to be about 95% R&R and 5% running. It’s rare that I get quality time with my family sans children running underfoot, and it was just a wonderful weekend away. Bonus: I ran my second-fastest HM ever, and as a workout, so I got a boost of confidence for my autumn marathon training.

family shot!
family shot!
steps from the finish line in the godforsaken sand
steps from the finish line in the godforsaken sand

Tying my marathon PR at 7 mos postpartum and then breaking my PR at 15 mos. PP. I took a bit of a leap of faith and decided to race my first marathon at 7 mos. PP in Modesto, and the training and race fared much better than I anticipated, resulting in my basically tying my PR. About seven months later, the universe aligned even better, and I finally broke my three-year-old marathon PR at Two Cities Marathon while having a good time downstate with Meredith. At TCM, I raced feeling calmer and stronger than ever before, and I am stoked to see how I can continue to improve.

P-fucking-R Cityyyyyyyy
P-fucking-R Cityyyyyyyy

Pacing a first-time marathoner to a 3:30 (and BQ). I had a rare opportunity to run an inaugural marathon and also help unofficially pace a first-time marathoner, and it was the perfect way for me to approach a marathon that I had otherwise felt a bit mentally burnt-out on. Sometimes when you’ve been doing something for a long time, you forget the little steps along the way that help enliven the process, and I couldn’t have been more pleased to share my 27th marathon nearly side-by-side with my unofficial co-pacer and friend, Chris, and his 9run6 friend and first-time marathoner, Alexia, who’d go on to finish in 3:30 — a BQ ain’t too shabby for your first marathon, gal!

Very unexpectedly PRing my half. Just a couple weeks after my marathon PR at TCM, I showed up to the Berkeley half marathon without any expectation or goal, and I was absolutely floored to destroy a three-year-old half marathon PR. I had long ago put that HM PR up on the shelf, thinking that it’d be forever untouchable, so I can’t even begin to describe the rush and joy that I get when I think of how that race went, how much fun it was, and how strong I felt from start to finish.  

another fun running adventure with Meredith and Meg :) so good to have some fun miles with these two this year
another fun running adventure with Meredith and Meg 🙂 so good to have some fun miles with these two this year
finish line pic!
finish line pic!

Getting a colitis diagnosis. This is a double-edged sword. After basically 7 years of “stomach problems,” with a couple pregnancies, international travel, surgeries, life, and everything else thrown into the mix, my GI here diagnosed me with a type of colitis that’d likely explain the incessant “stomach problems” I’ve been experiencing. With his diagnosis came medicine; with medicine came relief and an abatement of symptoms. It’s like science works or something. Crazy, isn’t it. +1000 to my improved quality of life.

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Getting a colitis diagnosis. The double-edged sword aspect is that I got a colitis diagnosis, one which I’ll have for the rest of my life, adding to my other autoimmune disorder gem. I spent more time in my GI’s office, peppering him with questions, than I did with any other practitioner this year (and probably many of them combined). After a lot of conversation with him and a battery of tests, he came to this diagnosis, and together we decided that the drug’s benefits outweighed its risks. Within weeks, I had relief. I hope that this colitis becomes just something minor to manage, and while I obviously am not keen on having another lifelong autoimmune disorder that necessitates daily medication, I am grateful to have a good relationship with my GI and have no trouble being my own biggest advocate. One of the biggest takeaways I have from 2016, maybe a subject for a future post, is that the relationship we have with our bodies is one of the most important relationships we’ll ever have, and it behooves us to advocate for ourselves accordingly.   

A DNS at the SF Marathon & at pacing Santa Rosa. That colitis diagnosis I keep talking about? Well, before we got it all sorted out, let’s just say it did a number on my running and on my day-to-day life. I ultimately decided to DNS at SF Marathon and to not pace 3:35 at Santa Rosa — both decisions I wasn’t particularly eager to make — because of how god-awful my stomach felt. I have only DNSed a couple times since I started doing this stuff in ‘07, but I absolutely knew that I was making the right call at the time. As runners, it can be really hard to swallow our pride and not follow through on our goals, but if we want to do this stuff for a long time, we gotta take the long view and think big-picture. Easier said than done, I know.

My 30 year-old cousin’s death. Not at all related to running, but very much affecting my life this year, was the death of my 30 year-old cousin. I haven’t talked about it here at all, and I’m still trying to figure out (six months later) how and where I can go with it for a post — because it matters — but my thirty year-old cousin died from a heroin overdose, leaving behind her 18-month-old daughter and her parents, my aunt and uncle, without their only child. Opioid abuse has reached an epidemic level in this country, and northeast Ohio is in the thick of it. It’s heartbreaking, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone back to read her obit, thinking that I didn’t actually get the call that I did with the news, or look at her fb page (again thinking that it’s not real), only to see a litany of RIP messages. Quite honestly, it sucks. As a parent, I can’t fathom what my relatives have to be going through. I can’t rationalize it, it’s beyond my comprehension, and every time I read a news story about heroin or opioids in this country, I get equal parts depressed and just pissed as hell. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought of her, wondering if I could have said something or done something — I saw her not even 12 hours before her death — and my heart is shattered for my aunt and uncle. It’s awful. Running isn’t therapy, and no number of miles that I run will bring her back or make her not use heroin or hurt her family, but god have I ever hashed and rehashed scenarios like these (and others) in my head over so many runs since she died in mid-July.

The relationship that we develop with our bodies is a powerful one, and arguably, it’s one that many of us tend to take for granted. Once we get into the rhythm of running regularly, or running injury-free, many of us just assume that day in and day out, we’ll be able to wake-up, do our running thing, and get on with our lives. It’s often not until something huge interrupts our flow that we realize shit, a lot has to happen (on a macro and micro level) in order for me to run, and suddenly our presumption that our hobby of choice will always be there transforms into a sheer attitude of gratitude of being able to just do said hobby in the first place.

While (fortunately) 2016 didn’t beset me with any injuries, or really any niggles to speak of, as I worked to gain strength and speed in that first year postpartum — while also dealing with the shitstorm that was my stomach, and later, the anguish over my cousin — I guess you could say that I fortified my attitude toward running, both currently and in the long-term. I’m not a “have to” runner these days, nor do I plan to be one anytime soon. I don’t have to run. I get to run.

Having an attitude of gratitude toward this little hobby of mine no doubt helped fuel the fire toward getting stronger, getting faster, and just having a fucking ball out there in 2016. I didn’t expect to set any PRs this soon out from kiddo dos, and while those I set were of course awesome and special, most of my memories from this year come from all the “chop wood/carry water” miles along the way — the daily grind; the running with my kids; the trail adventures; the miles, roads, and routes that become part and parcel of my daily life.

I think I turned a corner in 2016 with my running. That said, I’m intrigued to see what’s down the road in 2017. More than that, though, I’m honestly just grateful to get to be on the road in the first place (cheese cheese cheese, but true). We’ll see what happens. I’m amenable.

at the starting line

at the starting line

I’m coming up on six weeks postpartum and got the all-clear from my practitioner 3 weeks ago to run, so I’m beginning to think a little more about running and getting back into something of a routine. When I’m in the throes of marathon training, I usually run 6 days a week and hit something in the 60-75 miles per week range. If I’m not training, I typically keep around a 50 mpw base just to stay in shape and still elect to run around 5 or 6 days a week; I scale back the effort but keep the consistency there because, if nothing else, I dig routine. Hard to believe for a runner, I know.

always trainin for something
we’re runners; we’re always training for something

With a newborn and a four year-old in the house these days, I think I’m going to take some denotative license and create some alternative definitions for what ‘routine’ entails. In the past 5.5 weeks, I’ve birthed a newborn (and have subsequently kept her living and thriving solely from the liquid that my body produces … man, said in those terms, breastfeeding is downright mind-boggling); my in-laws have stayed with us for nearly 3 weeks; my parents have been here and stayed with us for a week; and I had surgery that necessitated lying low for a bit and avoiding anything that even remotely implicated my abdomen, including coughing, sneezing, or getting up from furniture like a normal 31 year-old. Somewhere in those past 5.5 weeks, I ran, too — not far, like 3 or 4 miles, twice, and comfortably-paced, if not looking a bit awkward (think: baby giraffe). Needless to say: not a whole lot of routine these days.

slide
I just think this is a great picture from the past five weeks. No tenuous connection to my blog content necessary.

 

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some of my favorite ladies 🙂

I’m not at all wishing away the infancy or newborn stage right now; in fact, I’m far from it. It’s a little crazy to admit, but I enjoy waking up at crazy hours (read: getting woken up) to feed the baby or tend to her. I don’t know if we’ll have any more kids — I don’t think we will — so a lot of times, I think about how this will be my last time having an infant at home and doing all the stuff that having an infant entails, including dealing with the broken sleep.

I know that her feeding needs will change as she gets older, and once that happens, it’ll make running a little more predictable and manageable and will allow me to get back to a normal schedule — whatever the hell the new normal will be. In the interim, I’ll figure out how to fit in running with A’s school and life schedule, G’s feeding times, and getting home before 6am so my husband can leave for work … agh … but right now, I’m not worried. Genuinely. It’ll all work out. Ideally, I just want to get in enough shape to complete the races on my calendar still this year.  No doubt my performances will leave something to be desired, but it’ll be nice to be back in the racing scene again. I’m really looking forward to it.

SF Marathon '14, the last time I "raced raced." gahhhh itching for that feeling!
SF Marathon ’14, the last time I “raced raced” (Dec’s 50k doesn’t count). gahhhh itching for that feeling!

 

I’m beginning to formulate some goals for my return-to-running. Postpartum running is nice in that it gives you a clean slate to start from, a place that you might not otherwise have unless you’re resuming running following injury (bad) or otherwise taking a lot of time off (potentially also bad, but not necessarily). It’s deeply gratifying to make (significant) gains (quickly), and similar to pregnant running, it’s kinda fun to celebrate each milestone, something that I typically don’t do otherwise. I can totally remember telling my training buddies in Chicago how excited I was to run my first 4, 5, 6, etc. miles at whatever paces for the first time postpartum after having A; I’m excited to get there again, whenever I do and however long it takes. Patience is a virtue with this stuff. Patience can totally blow, but it’s so important to have it and to respect the process (however the latter unfolds).

I totally subjected these gals (plus John, not pictured) to endless texts declaring my elation for posting mileage postpartum. Training buddies FTW.
throwback to Chicago, circa Aug 2010. I totally subjected these gals (plus John, not pictured) to endless texts declaring my elation for finally posting mileage during postpartum #1. Training buddies FTW for putting up with your crazy.

On the other hand, postpartum running can be something of a bitch because of the aforementioned broken sleep and the not-what-you’re-used-to-life-schedule and because it can be really easy to fall into the comparison game between yourself and other runners (who didn’t just grow and birth and are currently sustaining a child) and, perhaps more toxic, to yourself and your running pre-pregnant. The comparison game is one that you can’t win, so I am currently and plan to continue to abstain from it to the best of my ability. No fitspo necessary; no way, no how. That shit’s poison and completely unnecessary.

After my first pregnancy, I very surprisingly to me PRed in virtually every distance I raced in the first year postpartum — surprisingly, simply because I thought I had maxed out my ability at some distances, particularly 26.2. That’s not to say or even imply that I’m incredibly talented at this stuff; I’m not. I just honestly thought that after many attempts to bring my marathon PR down (and not really succeeding) that I had hit my ceiling. Seeing those ceilings shatter and having those experiences in my pocket now, I’ll admit that going into  postpartum running 2.0 that I have some big goals and high hopes that I’ll be able to do what I did the first time around and do some record destroying. I don’t expect it — I didn’t the first time — but I’ll work like hell to accomplish that which I’m after. I’m nothing if not a workhorse.

from Chicago '13, circa mile 16. This marathon PR is going to fall... and hard.
from Chicago ’13, my 26.2 PR, circa mile 16. I am so looking forward to finally going sub-3:20. [PC: Kevin]
A sweet thing about postpartum running (or the postpartum period in general) is that many women — myself included — have super high motivation to “get their bodies back.” That’s potentially an entire post in and of itself because it’s problematic and perhaps unhelpful (saving that tangent for another day), but for me, postpartum running this time around is also renewing my interest and motivation (read: desire) to become a stronger runner by doing all that ancillary stuff that’s important to do — stuff that we as runners know we really should be doing but often don’t because of some bullshit reason. I’m talking strength work, flexibility (at-home yoga FTW), and all the goodness that is NOT running but that is super important, like the core work and pre- and post-run warm-ups and cooldowns that I admittedly consistently half-ass. I should have been doing all of this stuff all along, mirroring the same consistency I have with my running, but there’s always been a bullshit reason that quote-unquote precluded me from doing it. If the postpartum period is all about setting new routines, there’s no better time to figure out a way to finally get consistent about all this “extra” stuff that really shouldn’t be that “extra” after all.

parents: this is the best $20 toy money can buy. trust me.
parents who run: this is the best $20 toy money can buy. trust me.

 

At the risk of sounding like a complete ass, big things are afoot, and it is so good — SO good — to be standing at the starting line.