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The barn and the (burned) boats

The barn and the (burned) boats

The past seven days have been really tough—and obviously, not just because I’m battling typical, run-of-the-mill taper tantrums and taper madness. Figuring things out and processing my sentiments after what transpired at Boston has been really, really challenging, and while I still haven’t come to any sort of peace with how I’ve tried to make sense of the tragedies that unfolded, I suppose—am hoping—that I will, in time. It is heartbreaking, my being was bruised and my soul shattered, and I felt as though my (running) family and I were all personally and communally violated on Marathon Monday, but here we are. Ultimately, I know that, in the end, the enormity and spirit of my running family far surpasses anything that tries to come between us.

A and me in our Boston blue for #chicagolovesboston and #bostonstrong
A and me in our Boston blue for #chicagolovesboston and #bostonstrong
outside a federal government branch office in Lincoln Sq.
outside a federal government branch office in Lincoln Sq.
The little one rockin' the unicorn
The little one rockin’ the unicorn

We will endure.

That’s all we know.

In other news that’s inconsequential in comparison, my marathon—Eugene, baby!–is less than week away! Last week, I found myself more terrified and anxious than excited and confident, but as race day creeps nearer, I’m leaning more toward excitement—though still, of course, with a healthy dose of fear and intimidation.

By no means am I a numbers gal—hellooooooooo, humanities—but dailymile makes it pretty easy to run the numbers on my training. With four days of running remaining before the 26.2 jaunt on Sunday, I can say that I’ve clocked more time training—and more importantly, more miles—for Eugene than I have before for any of my previous 18 marathons.

Catch that?

I’ve run more miles—over 600—training for Eugene’s 26.2 mile lovefest than I have for any of my previous 18 marathons.

Jump back, Johnny; that’s a big deal.

Added to my uptick in mileage for Eugene has also been an increased focus on ancillary work, like running-specific core work and bodyweight-based at-home strength work, as well as an intense, sometimes pretty humbling focus on speedwork wherein I handed my ass to myself each week (typically before sunrise, and more often than not, in pretty horrendous Chicago winter weather) and was elated if I either a) hit my target pace one time (out of the five or six times that I should have) or b) came within five-ten seconds of hitting it.

Another variable in this Eugene training cocktail that I did differently was incorporate social media into the mix. I just began using dailymile in 2013, and I really only started using twitter at the end of 2012 (but for all intents and purposes, in 2013), and I’ve found that connecting online with a bunch of other like-minded people—in my case, crazy runners—has been deeply gratifying and motivating.

It’s funny, really, because I don’t personally (as in, in real time) know very many of the runners I support online via blog comments, tweets, or dailymile motivations, even though many are Chicago-based, but I’ve come to really appreciate the feedback that I get from them, much as I do the feedback I get from my RT training partners. (and a big shout-out to my readers and respondents here! Ya’ll rule. Lotsa love. xoxo)

Call me crazy, but I think social media has helped me up my game this time around.

Additionally, or maybe most importantly, I haven’t really committed to a training plan in a very long time; if I’m being honest, it has been about… oh… three years (since I did Boston ’10). I had my own reasons for “doing my own thing,” but post-Houston, a fire was lit under me somehow (and by whom, I don’t know, hence my use of the passive voice) that inspired me to seek out training plans in a way that I haven’t in years.

The ultimate result, as I’ve written about, was using Pfitzinger’s up-to-55 miles/week plan (with some slight modifications), and I found myself coming to training each week excited—though slightly and healthily intimidated—with what laid before me. I was like a sponge—or maybe a rubber band—ready to soak up as much of this “new” way of training as I could… while being flexible and just “going with it”… to see what my body was truly capable of doing.

It often, if not usually, far, far, far surpassed my own expectations… and that feeling is to. die. for.

To say that my past twelve weeks of training for Eugene, nearly fresh off my Houston Marathon PR, has been equal parts incredibly rewarding and super refreshing is an understatement.

I don’t mean to be hyperbolic here, but dare I say that going into my race on 4/28, I’m a different marathoner than I was on 1/13 in Houston.

I am really looking forward to racing in Tracktown, USA, in just a few short days. I feel well, my body feels healthy, and perhaps most importantly, my mind is getting to **that place** where it’s beginning to believe everything that I’ve (and my training partners) been telling it for this training cycle. I am still slightly intimidated and nervous to publicly announce that I burned my boat and am aiming for a sub-3:30 finish, but like I’ve been brainwashing telling myself, there’s no reason this can’t happen.

I am totally ready to do this.

I will surely re-read this post roughly a thousand times before I publish it, and wonder if I’m jinxing myself or if I should be superstitious or if I should sandbag myself some and just say that I’d be happy with a sub-4 finish (or just to finish the race, in general), but I’ve gotta be confident.

I can do this.

These twelve weeks have brought me new 10k and 8k PRs, more mileage (and way faster mileage, for the matter) for a marathon training program than ever before, a re-commitment to ancillary work that’s so critical for runners (but so easily ignored by most, myself included), and a great sense of camaraderie with the running community in ways that mimics that which I feel when I’m in a formal, meet-twice-a-week-for-runs group program.

Training for Eugene, in some ways, reminds me of when I trained for my first marathon in 2007, and I fell in love with running for the first time. In other ways, it makes me think of post-May 2011, after I gave birth, and I began running again on the day of my six-week postpartum visit, when I got the “all-clear” to begin running again.

I’ve never really had an on-again, off-again relationship with running, but I guess you can see we’ve renewed our vows a couple times now. 😉

Anything can happen on race day, and nothing is guaranteed. I know this. Years of racing and marathoning experience has taught me as much. I’ve controlled that which I can control, though, and I’m happy with what has happened in my training. If I successfully gain entry in Club-Sub-3:30 on Sunday, all the better.

The hay is in the barn.

…and I am so ready to go to town with that hay, barn and all.

PS: runner tracking is up on the Eugene race site. Check it out!

 

 

It’s a-callin…

It’s a-callin…

And here we are, in April, which means only one thing: race month.

Looking forward to our date on 4/28! (and how nice that that also rhymes....)
Looking forward to our date on 4/28! (and how nice that that also rhymes….)

!!!!

When we last chatted, I had just run a strong 21-miler at the Arboretum with Mort, and I had about a month and change left til Eugene. Now, as the weekend approaches, I’ve got my third and final 20(+) miler of the training cycle, as well as the world’s largest 8k race the following day, and then will slowly and gradually start to taper off the long distances each Saturday morning from here til 4/28. (Sidenote: the only real goal for Sunday’s 8k is to be faster than last year’s 36:51, which I did after having my second sinus infection in four weeks, not running for five consecutive days because of it, and running 20 miles the day before in an obviously sub-par state. If I can’t post sub-36:51, I’ll be irked).

If you follow me on twitter and/or dailymile, it’s redundant of me to say in this space how cautiously optimistic and borderline thrilled I am that my training seems to be clicking these days. Last weekend’s 18 miler, back out at the Arboretum, except this time around, with David and a bunch of his friends from the Evanston Running Club, went exceedingly well, with a 7:36 average and two of my last 6 at a 7:01. David needed to run a 7:49 average for his 13 miler, and I thought that was a tall order–since that’s faster than my projected Eugene MP–but we stuck together and flew through it on the Arboretum’s hills.

Running with a bunch of dudes; the other two ladies were doing their own things. Apparently, you can also tell I don't exactly *belong* here :)
Running with a bunch of dudes; the other two ladies were doing their own things. Apparently, you can also tell I don’t exactly *belong* here 🙂

Aside from these past couple strong long runs, my speed stuff of late has been surprising me as well: 8x800s a couple weeks ago, ranging between a 3:04-3:23, and just a couple days ago, 4 sub-7 mile repeats embedded into a 10 miler.

Don’t get me wrong–I’m not listing all my training “accomplishments” to boast or anything like that–but I think what has helped things to “click” from the beginning of this training cycle has been my balls-out effort to convince myself here *points to forehead* and here *points to heart* that I am totally capable of going sub-3:30 in 24 days (wow… hello, wave of anxiety).

I would be lying if I told you that I haven’t been talking to myself–yup, out loud and everything–on some of my hard workouts in the past few weeks.

You’ve probably seen it just as much as I have, all this literature about sports psychology, flexing your mental muscle, overcoming your fears, chasing your A goal, all different sorts of “you can do it! just believe in yourself!” new age-y, self-help, ultra-motivational diatribes out there; hell, I linked to a bunch of resources about this very topic just a couple months ago!

While I think there is definitely some degree of “yeah, but…” that inevitably comes with folks believing that they should go after their ultimate race goal (namely: how has your training been… for starters, have you been training? any nagging injuries? and your diet, how have you been fueling your machine?), I think I am slowly but surely coming to the realization that, barring absolute catastrophe (read: hurricanes and superstorms, GI malfunctions), there’s no reason why I shouldn’t be able to finally realize my dream of entering club sub-3:30 in 24 days.

Nobody else is putting this pressure on me but me, myself, and I, and truthfully, I’ve started and stopped writing this post repeatedly–and have even considered deleting it–because the vulnerability of putting myself and my goal OUT THERE like this is just… well, it’s fucking scary. Heebee-jeebee inducing.

However, I need to.

I’ve got nothing to fear about this goal any more.

I’ve burned my boat.

I’m doing the work–the training, the speed, the strength, the core stuff–and the important ancillary stuff–sleeping and fueling effectively–so the only person (or thing?) weighing me down from *not* realizing my goal, at this point, is me.

Weeks 1-2 were my last taper week and then race week for Houston. Weeks 3-on have been recovery and Eugene training, and I just closed out March with 230 miles for the month, with several 50+ mpw--highest volume EVER for me... and still loving it!

Weeks 1-2 were my last taper week and then race week for Houston. Weeks 3-on have been recovery and Eugene training, and I just closed out March with 230 miles for the month, with several 50+ mpw–highest volume EVER for me.

So… here we are.

Twenty-four more days to wrap my head around my goal, to continue to train as well (read: effectively and intelligently) as I can, and perhaps most importantly, to continue to train… uh, my head (?), that FDR must have been a closet marathoner, talking about realizing our race goals, when he said that we had nothing to fear but fear itself.

I should buy this. Thank you, http://bit.ly/ZCgx9v :)
I should buy this. Thank you, http://bit.ly/ZCgx9v 🙂