motivation – Page 69 – Running Ruminations

Bottling runs

February 23, 2015 Erin Comments 8 comments

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always enjoyed writing. More often than not, writing helps me process things and helps me move beyond minutiae, forcing me to think big picture, to identify problematic or encouraging trends, and in general, to just give me a sense of perspective that can otherwise be drowned out by incessantly thinking in the here-and-now, micro-level shit that I am wont to do.

In these regards, whether officially or not, I think writing has helped me tremendously as a runner. Since 2007, I’ve kept some iteration of a training log–either something handwritten or, more recently, something (or somethingS) digital–and as is to be expected, seeing recaps of my runs laid out before me gives me a sense of perspective that I’d otherwise lose. If I have a week of bad runs, but three weeks of great runs, without my little written artifacts, I’m probably going to remember the shittier stuff more than the good: crappy but true. Fortunately, my written records rectify (hello, consonance!) this.

With my pregnancy, as I’ve written before, I’m basically running without expectations, and it’s as liberating as you’d expect it to be. I no longer have hard-and-fast weekly mileage or speed goals, though I’d be lying if I said I didn’t still have some very, very, very soft goals that I somewhat try to hit each week. Even with this current state of expectations-free running, though, or rather, perhaps because of it, I’m finding that the runs that I get to post, the ones that surprise me for some reason or another, just floor me beyond belief, and all I want to do is bottle them for future revisiting.

about to do the final ascent up Monument Peak in early Feb. with (r-l) CJ, Yohann, and Saurabh [PC: Yohann] — about to do the final ascent up Monument Peak in early Feb. with (l-r) CJ and Yohann [PC: Saurabh]

I guess *this* was the final ascent. :) [PC: Yohann] — I guess *this* was the final ascent. 🙂 [PC: Yohann]

Making an active attempt to bottle my runs–basically, to force myself to remember how great I felt or how strong I felt or what my leg turnover felt like or whatever, during whatever week or stage of pregnancy I’m in–I think will help me in the long term, especially as I’m rebuilding strength and speed postpartum. Bottling runs is like my way of having this ongoing mental (or written) conversation with myself wherein I remind myself how good/strong/fast/whatever I felt right now so that I have a reference point for the future.

I think this notion of bottling runs is a compelling connection between all runners, regardless if you’ve been doing this stuff for a long time, if you’re just starting out, or if you’re revisiting running after a prolonged absence. For those of us who have been here before, sometimes we continue to run because we always carry with us the flood of positive memories from earlier runs, from runs where our paces and strides felt effortless, where our attacking ascents and descents on beautiful and crazy-ass trails felt like second nature, or where we finished an incredibly intense workout feeling like a million bucks and fully expecting Olympic t&f coaches to be banging down our doors to enlist us on next year’s team (what, you don’t envision yourself running in the Olympics?? your pants are ablaze!). For newer runners–and we’ve all been there–I think many of us want to have those types of experiences I just described; we want to feel as effortless or fast or strong or whatever as possible because we know in our heart of hearts that if our friends (or family members, or whoever inspired us to get out there and try this running stuff in the first place), that if these people can do it, then we sure as hell can, too. We just have to convince ourselves of it and work our ass off to get there.

I’d argue that this somewhat revisionist history that we, or at least I, seem to have with running more often than not works in our favor. It gets us out there day after day, it brings us back after time away, and like journaling our daily runs and workouts, it gives us a sense of perspective that teaches us that lots of things are possible, should we choose to believe it and think more long-term than immediate gratification in our running.

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A post shared by Saurabh Bhasin (@mtn_runr)

another early morning ascent with CJ and Saurabh, this time a touch faster! #smallvictories [PC: Saurabh] — these three pics (above and below this one) are from another early morning MP ascent with CJ and Saurabh this past weekend, this time a touch faster and feeling a touch stronger! #smallvictories [PC: Saurabh]

https://instagram.com/p/zaqh1twwLH/?modal=true

Realistically, I know that pregnancy will eventually (and dramatically) alter my running more than it already has, and so far, I feel pretty at peace with that. If anything, it’s making bottling the good stuff that much more important to me these days. 🙂

life, in a nutshell

February 4, 2015 Erin Comments 10 comments

One of my favorite Barenaked Ladies songs and also an appropriate description for this post. It’s been a bit since I posted a non-running-specific bit, so I’m probably due.

things that will make me lose my mind. Perhaps blame the raging pregnancy hormones for my irritability with this, but yeah, apparently there’s enough people in this country who think that bringing back measles is totally cool. Even better, my family and I live in the state most affected/infected! And better still?! There have been at least two reported cases in my county! Honest to god, I thought all the bullshit I read online about “detoxes” and “cleanses” and “eating clean” made my blood boil… this measles stuff takes the cake. dear lord. I get it, I’m a parent, and as parents, we get to choose how to parent our children in ways that we think are best for them … yet … science, people. SCIENCE. One more time for good measure: SCI. ENCE.

with ebola people hoped, wished & prayed for a vaccine — but we didn't. with #measles we have one. #VaccinateYourKids

— Dr. Sanjay Gupta (@drsanjaygupta) February 3, 2015

^learn some basic science, folks. (and for a great video, in case you need a refresher as to why this is so. fucking. important. — http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/body/vaccines-calling-shots.html)

dreams. There are lots of potentially unpleasant things that come with pregnancy, but one of the more fun ones is the whackadoo dreams you might potentially have! Highlights of my most recent ones include high school boy troubles and shitty friendships; seeing and catching up with my long-ago-deceased family members; dreaming that kiddo dos ended up being a super-bright ginger daughter; and having a baby pet crocodile that I had to walk (on a leash) in my grandma’s kitchen, in the house she lived in until I was in high school. Hormones can be fuuuuuun.

Neil Patrick Harris. Totally enamored. Santa brought C his choose-your-own-adventure autobiography, though it was really probably more for Santa and less for C, and it was a blast to read. NPH is one of those crazy-talented individuals, and the fact that he genuinely sounds like a normal dude who’s also a dad just takes the cake. You should totally read his autobio. At times I was literally laughing out loud, and at other times, I was crying. (The stuff he writes about becoming a father is especially poignant and endearing).

Here's a wrap up of today's #oscar nomine luncheon: http://t.co/J3u9Dl84Ln + a pic. They all look so white! #toosoon pic.twitter.com/WtM3EFAUZZ

— Neil Patrick Harris (@ActuallyNPH) February 3, 2015

lifting. I decided it was high time to get super stronger, so I took advantage of my parks and rec department’s awesome promotion for New Years and bought a citywide gym pass, primarily just so I’d really have an incentive to go do stuff that I should be doing anyway, like lifting. After a 30 minute shakeroo run on Monday, I lifted at a gym for the first time in probably … four years?, and it was a fuckin’ blast. I forget how fun lifting can be. It’s also great that there’s not a single soul in the gym when I’m there, so I basically have full run of the place.

fetus. All good! Just about outta the first tri and slowly but surely beginning to feel like a human (and myself, somewhat) again. CA does their genetic testing differently from what we had done in IL, so we could do it as soon as 9 weeks gestational age. The crazy thing is that C already knows the sex from this genetic testing stuff because the testing basically separated my blood from that of the kiddo’s (hashtag science is cool) and checked out the DNA and stuff. Crazy. Just like with A, I adamantly don’t want to know the sex and won’t know it until delivery. Right now, I’m feeling girl, but that means nothing. I’m already beginning to feel little movements, too. It’s so fun.

possible (amended) running goal for 2015. Initially, 2015 was going to be the year that I finally obliterated my 3:20 PR and posted that 3:15ish and then later, run my first 50 miler. Those things aren’t going to happen this year, and that’s totally a-okay in my book and called for a goal revisit. Beyond the obvious and most important grow and nourish and then safely deliver a healthy baby, depending on how life goes post-kiddo dos’ arrival, I might end up pacing a friend for the final 22 miles of his debut 50miler at TNF EC in December. I won’t be in any rush to get back to my usual fitness levels, so I haven’t committed to it. I just think it’s pretty cool to consider. We’ll see.

the flying fish. My current love for popsicles is beat only by A’s love for swimming.