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Oakland Marathon 2014 training: 3 weeks out

Oakland Marathon 2014 training: 3 weeks out

Week 9 – 3 weeks out (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) – week of February 24, 2014

OakMarathonLogoHello, March — and heeeeeeeeeeeello, RACE MONTH!

This week was my final peak week, and I’m ready for it. It kinda blows my mind right now that the bulk of my training is over for Oakland–how has 9 weeks already passed?–and, related, I have no idea how my family and I have lived in California already for over two months now. I think it’s still a little premature for me to look back at my training this cycle–forthcoming–but I found myself internalizing things a bit on many of my runs this week because we’re in race month, folks, and I’m beginning to think a lot about failure.

Yup, failure.

Like I wrote about on The San Francisco Marathon’s blog, about going after crazy-ass goals, when you publicly admit your goal–crazy-ass or not–you’re really putting yourself out there and, to an extent, putting a lot of stuff on the line, like your ego, pride, all the good stuff that can really build a girl up or knock her straight on her ass. In my humble opinion, public proclamations make the pursuit of the goal(s) that much more… visceral, I guess is the right word for it… yet the heightened stakes from folks knowing what you’re going after can also be a bit anxiety-inducing.

The hell am I talking about?

I’m going after a 3:15 this year (hello, sweaty palms), a good five minute-ish PR from my current 3:20:06. I’ll go after it in Oakland, which, for perspective, I’ve read that Boston has nothing on Big Sur, and Big Sur has nothing on Oakland, in terms of course profile. I’ve not yet run BS, so I can’t testify to the accuracy of that claim, but it’s definitely in the back of my head. Anyway, since I’ve proclaimed to the world that a 3:15 is my big goal this year, I have been thinking a lot about it and what I need to do to get there… and how I define failure. Will I have failed myself or my training if I don’t go sub-3:20 in Oakland? If I don’t hit 3:15? I have no idea, and really, I don’t know when or if I’ll have any answers to these questions.

I write this only because I think it’s enormously important to not only talk about this stuff and be real about it but also because it–doubt, anxiety–comes with the territory of marathon training and going after a goal, a crazy-ass one or not, that matters to you. Though I’m beginning to get a little jittery about this stuff, I’d probably be more jittery if I weren’t in the first place (catch that? complicated sentence structure).

Getting through our doubts and anxieties about realizing our goals is part of the ‘mental callousing’ or ‘mental training’ that’s paramount to marathon training. This stuff, this mental business, as unsexy and a bit unsettling as it is, is an important element to this marathoning game. I’m all for being confident in your ability to realize your goal(s), but I think it’s also important to train your mind to deal with doubt and anxiety, those little voices that make you second-guess yourself. Brain-training FTW, folks. The pros do it, too.

Despite everything I just said, though I likely sound incredibly doubtful of virtually everything, training has gone GREAT. I am absolutely stoked to race my favorite distance in just a few weeks.

And with that… training!

Monday, Feb 24

p: rest/XT

a: rest/XT

Nice lil’ rest day.

Tuesday, February 25

p: recovery double: 6 a.m.; 4 p.m.

a: yup, recovery double: 6.01 in the a.m.; 4.01 in the p.m.

Felt pretty well post-long LR on Sunday, but it was nice to have a recovery day so early in the week. I took a different route in the morning and found myself at Costco in the pre-dawn hours–interesting–and also was quickly reminded why I go my usual routes when streetlights were non-existent and not all sidewalks were ADA-compliant. Those factors, plus the issue of my slowly-dimming headlamp (that I didn’t realize at the time), necessitated that I literally tip-toe on the run because I couldn’t see for shit… which got old quickly… but otherwise, a nice run. In the p.m., I just ran big loops around my neighborhood and, in the process, was momentarily chased by an off-leash Chihuahua. I love animals just as much as the next vegan, but that little effer was lucky a car or I (which, to a small dog, probably feels the same) didn’t run him over. Anyway, nice easy runs.

Wednesday, February 26

p: VO2 max 11 miles with 6x1000m at 5kRP with 2 min jog recoveries

a: MLR 15.03 (8:30 average)

Midweek quince that got bumped to early in the week thanks to the weekend’s 8k I’d be subbing for my speed. This run was a bit rough because of multiple pit stops (late dinners are bad ideas for vampire runs) and fierce-for-SJ wind. It was definitely a morning where the effort didn’t match the watch, but it’s all good. It was nice to run on the GRT during the week and in the early morning hours for a change, too. Oh, and besides seeing 10 feral cats, I tried to convince a chicken to stop crossing the street by SJHS so she wouldn’t get slaughtered by cars, but despite my clapping and yelling, she insisted on just running deeper into the intersection. Natural selection, you win.

Nice knowin' ya
goner

Thursday, February 27

p: MLR 15

a: 11.1 miles GA + recovery (8:47 average)

In the interests of not doing double-days of speedwork this week, I changed the VO2 max workout to just a GA 11. I made a deal with my legs (you do that too, don’t you?) that we’d run the first 8 as a slow GA pace and then the final 3, in big loops around my ‘hood, as a recovery. On the final .5, I included some strides to freshen things up a bit, and those felt good. It was challenging to not get mentally discouraged about downgrading part of a GA run to a recovery, but it was also one of those instances where I knew that listening to my body was a must — and especially during peak week and especially so close to my marathon.

Today’s bonus: getting my Chicago Marathon ’13 official results book and seeing our BRC name in print for winning our division.

doesn't get old. such a cool accomplishment.
doesn’t get old. such a cool accomplishment.

Friday, February 28

p: GA 8

a: recovery 6.05

Another easy recovery run around the ‘hood in the predawn and very rainy hours. I was soaked by the time I was finished, and it continued to rain here for almost the entire day. #whatdroughtCA?

Saturday, March 1

p: recovery 6

a: LR 20 (8:10 average, 9:14, 8:37, 57, 35, 39, 44, 25, 23, 00, 09, 01, 759, 51, 812, 751, 805 for .11, 751, 43, 35, 22, 714 for .89)

Final 20 for the Oakland cycle! Originally, Stone and I were going to meet up for this 20 here, but when work schlepped her off, I was on my own. I decided to return to Hellyer/Coyote Creek as I did a few weeks ago, and the morning was a bit of a clusterfuck with me leaving nearly an hour later than I planned–toddler issues at 4:30am–and some fierce-for-SJ winds and sideways-blowing rain. I had a hearty headwind for the first half of this, and the rain persisted until mile 14 (wherein I immediately saw, and then ran under, a rainbow– SO COOL!!!). I figured I’d probably go for a fast finish on this run, but I wasn’t really committed to anything; I just wanted the miles and the time on my feet.

Anyway, at times the wind was just laughable–that type of wind where you take 3 steps forward and feel like you get pushed 2 steps backwards–and rather than fight it, I just went with it. I managed to get to Hellyer, and then leave, right before a half marathon there began. An ankle-deep puddle on the trail necessitated an early turn-around, but not before I accidentally flashed some race hikers when I dropped trou, one of my finer moments for sure.  I’ll take running with friends over sola pretty much every day of the week, but I think all this nonsense was sufficiently entertaining that this 20 actually kinda went by pretty quickly. And! most importantly! Even with the fast finish, I felt like there was a good bit left in the tank–and I felt really good for the rest of the day, even with standing on my feet to volunteer at the 408k packet pickup all afternoon. WIN.

the ankle-deep, inescapable puddle at my turn-around. also, where I was spotted.
the ankle-deep, inescapable puddle at my turn-around. also, where I was spotted peeing. no es bueno.

 

swoon
swoon

Sunday, March 2

p: LR 20

a: 3.05 mi WU & CD; 8k (4.97mi) Run to the Row (35:06, 7:03 average)

First time racing in SJ, first time wearing the Wolfpack singlet in a race, finally running one of the races I was a local ambassador for… just a very fun morning. The course began at the SAP Center downtown and wound through some ‘hoods before the final ‘Mariachi Mile,’ that had about 5 different Mariachi bands — very cool — and finishing at Santana Row, a shopping district. I was really excited for the race and entered it with virtually no expectations besides just getting some semblance of speed in this morning. Of course, I always want to PR–who doesn’t–but I focused more on keeping this effort honest and as-speedy-as-I-could-muster on peak week legs that already had 65 miles on them, twenty of those being fewer than 24 hours prior.

Pre-race, Bernadette, another 408k ambassador and local leader of a moms’ running group here, and I hung out for a bit before I connected with Coach Lisa and other Wolfpack runners. I love race day mornings because the positive energy is just palpable, and for a very short time, the race suspends reality and seemingly (or actually) allows runners to rule the streets. I totally felt like the new kid at school because I knew nothing about where we were running and virtually nothing about the course, but that’s part of what made the race so fun. Uphill? Downhill? Hairpin turns? Sure!

True to form, I remain pretty outrageously horrible at pacing shorter stuff (6:43, 703, 10, 22, 26 for .97), even if I think I’m doing it satisfactorily, but I’m happy with how this went. We had another windy-for-SJ morning with some almost-rain, but it was a nice morning for a jaunt.  I enjoyed running a new-to-me race and meeting so many Wolfpack teammates in the process; these folks are FAST. Immediately seeing C and A once I finished was a treat, too, and apparently, they saw me cross the finish line (but I didn’t hear them yelling). All told, I was 5th in my AG and 13th woman OA (out of  612 and 4,577, respectively). It was my slowest 8k in a while, but post-20 miler? I’ll take it. I’m thinking bigger picture here, folks.

love my fan club :)
love my fan club 🙂

I wouldn’t necessarily advise anyone to try to race the day after a LR, but this fit into my schedule pretty nicely, and getting the ambassador gig was a treat as well. I will likely do the other two events in the Run the Bay series that Represent Running hosts, but they’re not until much later in the year.

So! Another week down, another week closer to Oakland, and best of all: TAPER TOWN!!!

Week’s Totals

p: 70

a: 70.22

What say you? Do you think about failure when you’re training for your goal race? Do you think it’s important to do so or mostly just depressing? What ‘rainbow,’ real or otherwise, did you see this week on your runs? Tell me everything!

Bay bound

Bay bound

If you know me personally or have read any of my tweets, posts here, or Dailymile entries within the past few months, and especially, the past few weeks, you’ll know that major life changes are underfoot and that I’ve felt pretty emotionally volatile and vulnerable—totally attractive combination, btw—as a result.

Don’t know what I’m talking about? The short of it is that my husband got an incredible career opportunity, and we decided to take it, even though it necessitates a cross-country move to the Bay Area. We recently sold our condo here and in about a month’s time, my daughter and I will join my husband out west.

Hello, San Jose
Hello, San Jose

I’ve ridden some hard highs and some low lows about this. For a while, probably the first 4-6 weeks, it was just there. I knew it was going to happen, but without knowing when we’d move (because my daughter and I wouldn’t join him out west until we sold), I didn’t pay the pending reality any mind. With marathon training for Chicago and NYC, and teaching this quarter, I think I had very little mental real estate to devote to thinking about The Big M(ove). It would happen when it would happen.

Welcome to the land of Erin denial, folks.

Once we sold, about 10 days ago, the reality obviously started to hit me significantly harder—but in ways I wouldn’t expect. Signing the real estate sale paperwork was purely transactional and numbing. Sending the ‘update on moving west’ email to my close friends and family though, where I apprised everyone of our sale, took me exponentially longer to write than it should have, in no small part because I had to stop writing nearly every paragraph to bawl (not kidding) and then tend to my daughter, since mommy’s crying had awoken her from her sleep that night (the mother of the year nominations are surely flooding the committee’s office for that one).

I wake her up at night, but then she takes my spot in bed. It all evens out.
I wake her up at night, but then she takes my spot in bed. It all evens out.

I’m finding that when I begin to think of my relationship with this city, the city I’ve called home since I was 18 years old (and thus, for basically all of my adult life), I quickly realize that I’ve made this city such a huge part of who I am—for better or for worse—and the thought of splitting from her leaves me feeling hella scared, nervous, and entirely, totally, 100% vulnerable, in a way I haven’t been in over a decade.

The unknown is scary, folks. Rationally, it’s not, but emotionally? Viscerally? Damn near terrifying.

However, the more I begin to think “rationally” about the move—since rationally, I’m 100% on board with it; it’s the emotional aspect that’s making me falter—I am quickly realizing that I need to take a page from my marathon training and racing experience.

The metaphor might be tenuous at best, but the applicability is very much there.

When I trained for my first marathon back in 2007, I had no fuckin’ idea what I was getting myself into. I was incredibly excited about the prospect and super eager to see if I could run a marathon at all (because normal people can’t run marathons, right??). Though I had an amazing support system and an incredible group of teammates, many of whom had run many a mary, I was blissfully and mildly oblivious about the effort before me. I mean, I knew it’d be work, but…

I full-body JUMPED into the marathon training process, under good guidance and coaching, and with as much information as I could gather when left to my own devices, and it was an amazing experience and, obviously, something that has profoundly changed my life.

It would be in my best interests to do the same with The Big M.

I need to full-body submerge myself in the move, the next chapter of my life, without looking back, without wondering what if I can’t do this or what if I’m alone or what if it sucks or what if I never find X or whatever.

I won’t have answers to any of those trepidations unless and—more importantly—until I try.

And this is so very, very much the same in the business of marathon training and racing.

I always link to Matt’s article about burning your effin boats when it comes time to goal-set, and while starting completely anew in the Bay isn’t exactly a goal of mine, per se, it is nevertheless presenting me with an amazing opportunity, once I begin to think about it in those terms. Starting fresh in a new city, with a new group of people, in a place where I have no history behind me and no ‘destiny’ before me, is something that many people would love to have, and it’s in my best interests to capitalize on this. I mean… duh, Erin.

I am lucky to personally know exactly 3 people—all runners—who live in SF proper, but otherwise, the Bay is all new territory for me.

The tremendous opportunity that comes with a clean slate is something that I’m just now fully beginning to realize, since I haven’t been in this position for the past, oh, 12 years.

This is a time to try new things—run new races, run other distances, run with other groups of people, to really truly go outside my comfort zone, making myself vulnerable in the process, and just see what the hell happens. Matt (I am such a fangirl) recently had a fantastic post about setting really enormous and huge and scary goals, beyond just setting your boats ablaze, and I totally have one.

Told you, total fangirl. With Matt at the Chicago Diner in Logan Square, post-Chicago Marathon. (Matt's pic, taken from http://www.nomeatathlete.com/book-tour-recap/). :)
Told you, total fangirl. With Matt at the Chicago Diner in Logan Square, post-Chicago Marathon. (Matt’s pic, taken from http://www.nomeatathlete.com/book-tour-recap/). 🙂

Perhaps I laid the foundation here in Chicago, since this is where I was when I articulated it, but the work, the intentionality, will begin in the Bay.

Where it’ll end, where the goal will manifest, remains to be seen… but it’ll begin in the Bay.

I’m a huge proponent of running and racing (and living…?) without regrets, and what better way to put this ideology into action than in the newest installment of my life’s story.

And in the really strange timing department, in the late summer, months before any of this move stuff transpired, on a whim, I decided to apply to be a social media ambassador for the San Francisco Marathon, which I had run in 2010, freshly and unknowingly pregnant. I have always raved about how cool the race was and how it’d be one I’d actually run again, in no small part because I wanted to run it non-pregnant (and because my training that summer was sub-sub-par). My memory has failed me, so I can’t recount exactly what I wrote in my application—something about running postpartum, I think?–but I’m in. I’m now part of the group of “social media ambassadors” for a race in my new hometown (or home area, anyway). In the process, I’m “meeting” lots of Bay Area runners and, consequently, beginning to learn about some of the area’s best running groups, clubs, trails, races, and the like.

Boom. In. I should have edited the irrelevant stuff from the pic. Oops.
Boom. In. I should have edited the irrelevant stuff from the pic. Oops.

I took a chance, albeit a low-risk chance, and somehow, not only did the chance work out in my favor, but it also has already connected me to a community of runners who’ll surely help me find my bearings and who, I hope, will be my fast friends. I am genuinely excited to meet this group of people over the next few months, to support each other’s training efforts and goals, much as I do currently and will continue to do for my Chicago-based running family, Bootleggers or otherwise, and though I will be making the Chicago-Bay Area move with very mixed emotions, I am finding peace in knowing that I already have a handful of semi-perfect run strangers with whom I can rundezvous.

Though I can’t yet say I’m excited or even really looking forward to the move, I am intrigued to see what will happen in the next chapter of my (running) life.

The move isn’t a goal that I set for myself, nor is it necessarily a risk that I would emotionally throw myself into taking; however, that it was given to me, and that I fully support it, shows me that I am more ready for it than I realize.

As in running, sometimes the biggest risk is in stagnation.

Remove the comfort, dispose of the familiar, kick out the crutches beneath you, and see what the hell happens.

Happy Thanksgiving, run family.