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Month: March 2018

March 2018 training recap

March 2018 training recap

That saying that claims if March comes in like a lion, it’ll go out like a lamb (or vice versa) only generically applied to my March, I suppose. Shoot, realistically speaking, after coming off the stroke in early February and slowly but surely beginning to piece life together after that, I would have been more than satisfied to have March enter slowly and quietly, without much fanfare, if it meant that life was going to be normal as usual — or pretty close to it, anyway. I had more action in February than I would have cared to, so lamb, lion, meerkat, or protozoa notwithstanding — I’m not picky — I just really hoped that March would be unremarkable — that magic word — and that it’d more often than not resemble, and be indicative of, normalcy.

Fortunately, that was the case. March began, of course, with my repeat MRI scan on 3/3, nearly a month out from my stroke, whose results, eventually interpreted by my neurologist, showed to be unremarkable — or in other words, not anything to be excited about. I wrote about it earlier in the month, but honest to sweet baby Jesus, I was never/have never been so excited to be ruled boring. The day after my MRI, I spent my morning volunteering in the streets of the Rose Garden neighborhood with my Wolfpack teammates for the 408k, and sure enough, just a couple days later, on March 7, exactly 4.5 weeks post-stroke, I got the all-clear to begin running, lifting, picking up my kids, and to generally begin doing life per yoosh again.

that first-run-back feeling

I was going to write a separate post about what my running has looked like post-stroke, and I probably will still, but I’ll also talk about it here, briefly. This is redundant and probably a bit obnoxious and self-evident, but the thing about running after stroke is that there’s obviously not a one-size-fits-all formula to heed. Each person’s stroke can vary tremendously — as well as all the short- or long-term stroke-related sequelae — that googling “how to run after stroke” is a hefty exercise in futility. My experience with this — again, based on my own stroke (somewhat obvious, yes, but still probably worthwhile to remember) and based on what my own running looked like pre-stroke — kinda makes me liken post-stroke running to postpartum running.

More than anything, it boils down to listening to your body each and every day.

I have been/was so remarkably lucky with my stroke insofar as I don’t have any deficits that could affect my ability to run, at least as far as physical limitations go. (The mental side is another story for another day, but even there, running helps tremendously). However, when I had my stroke, I had basically gone from consistently running a solid mileage volume each week to ZERO and stayed there for 4.5 weeks. I still walked a bunch, walked up and down the stairs at home several times a day, and did all “life-related” physical activity (sans picking up children or anything else heavy), but when I began running, I all but assumed I was starting from scratch. That’s what it felt like, anyways.

 

we just re-introduced the run-ride commutes; they were both pretty stoked, especially A. I think she genuinely missed riding her bike.

Right now, I’m just shy of 8 weeks post-stroke, which means that I’ve been running for 3.5 weeks. Generally speaking, I’m taking more rest days than I usually would (out of an abundance of caution); my “long runs” on the weekend are more time-based than anything and progress only if I’m feeling well and am interested in the effort (which is still very comfortable and casual); and finally, I’ve been much more deliberate about all the ancillary things — such as lifting, rolling, self-massage, and all that good stuff — than I have been in a long time. Pre-stroke, it was rare for me to feel especially sore after a run (beyond racing), but right now, as I’m working to get into shape, I feel like I’m sore all the time, like the way you feel when you’re running for the very first time in your life and you wonder if you’ll ever feel not sore.

getting strong via the hills with Saurabh: 90 minutes +/-, 10 miles, 1600′ + of gain, and some lovely views.

Listening to your body and consequently running by feel is as good a way to run and get into shape as any, in my opinion. When you’re in the thick of marathon training, for example, it can seem counterintuitive to sometimes abandon the plan, yet I think taking the bigger-picture view can pay dividends. One missed or altered run isn’t going to make or break your race day performance; on the other hand, a handful of runs that you power through, even when you’re feeling sub-par or on the brink of something, can. That’s my soapbox, anyway.

And sometimes, I think one of the best things we can do for ourselves — particularly if we’re working through a funk — is to venture outside ourselves and be immersed in good vibes, and races sure are excellent avenues for that. Just a couple weeks after I began running, G and I went down to Santa Cruz to race in she.is.beautiful’s baby mama 10k division. The upshot is that it was a lovely morning and something equally positive for my soul and for my brain. Good people in a good environment? You can’t go wrong. I knew I wasn’t in “racing shape,” (duh) and that it’d be hard-in-a-good-way, but I didn’t care. Immersing myself in my supportive community has been really helpful, and when I’m feeling really low (or angry or otherwise off-kilter) about everything, remembering that there are people out there who are rooting for me means a lot.

that first race back. (PC: Dave/fitfam6)

Suffice it to say that March was a step in the right direction. Getting the good news from my neurologist, going to counseling, getting all my other medical issues in order and seeing all the concomitant specialists, resuming running (just cracked 100 miles for the month, hooray!), reading and writing a bunch, spending lots of time with my family — and more stuff that I’m surely omitting — makes me feel optimistic for April and for the rest of the year. It can be easy to negatively, quickly, and catastrophically spiral when I have a rough day, but most of the time, I have many more good days than I do rough.

I can’t complain. I am so, so lucky and so enormously grateful.

On 3/26, I went back to the ICU for the first time since coming home. It was very hard to do, but I think that — and beginning to register for races, as mundane as that may sound — was instrumental in helping me begin to feel “normal” again. I signed up for The SF Marathon in July (AMBASSADORERIN10 for a discount) and am about 18 weeks out now, which is convenient.

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Reading: March had a lot of good stuff: When: the Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing, which was a fast and interesting read about our chronotypes and how timing is everything (or “the only thing,” as the author would assert); Why Buddhism is True: the Science and Philosophy of  Meditation and Enlightenment, a shittily-titled book but one that was full of insightful and fairly compelling information related to Vipassana Buddhism and the case for meditation, among other things; Everything Happens for a Reason (and Other Lies I’ve Loved), which was both entertaining and heartbreaking (and one that a critic aptly described as being “a love letter to life”); and finally, A Man Called Ove, which repeatedly surprised and emotionally drew me in more times than not and that challenged my “I don’t really like fiction anymore” attitude. Lots of good stuff this month, to be sure, and I’ve got a hefty pile on deck already for April. There aren’t enough hours in the day for all the reading, running, and writing I’d love to do. Oh, and one last one – the Peak Performance newsletter. I loved the book, and the newsletter is equally excellent. 

Writing: March brought a lot of ghostwriting opportunities again, which I appreciated. It’s either feast or famine with that stuff, it seems.

Racing: March featured SIB 10k pushing G, and April will hopefully bring with it Sactown 10 miler (a PA race), the inaugural Silicon Valley 5k and half marathon, and Stow Lake 5k (another PA race). Pre-stroke I had lofty goals for an audacious and arduous spring racing season, but now I’m gravitating toward getting strong and confident again in the spring (and training through the racing atmosphere) and going for total world domination in the autumn. If nothing else, I’m patient and ready (and willing) to work. Time off — whether forced or voluntary — has a way of doing that to a person.

Watching: I’m veritable decades behind anything of interest or relevance here. Decades. That said, many people in my household are genuinely excited that the new series of A Series of Unfortunate Events came out on Netflix on 3/30. 

Listening: I’ve enjoyed the few podcasts from Mario Fraioli’s The Morning Shakeout that I’ve heard so far, namely with Meb Keflezighi, Des Linden, and Shalane Flanagan. Ali On the Run had an excellent podcast interview recently, too, with Gabe Grunewald that pretty much left me speechless and with an entirely new perspective on just about everything. I’d highly recommend these four interviews in particular. 

Using: Marco Polo, the app. It’s wonderful and has allowed my DePaul undergrad BFFs and me to stay in contact so easily that I feel compelled to give the app dev a huge hug or high-five or something. What a game-changer.

Anticipating: I feel like once April hits — and parents of school-aged children will agree with me here — that we just barrel toward the end of the school-year with furor. All of the great end-of-the-school-year stuff will be here before we know it — family birthdays, end-of-school-year celebrations, a Girl Scout bridging ceremony, and more that I’m surely forgetting — and then it’ll be summer and 1000 degrees outside and I’ll be wondering how time seemed to move so quickly all of a sudden. That’s how it always seems to happen in these parts, anyway. A has her first tri of the year in April, too, so that’ll be super exciting!

she blows my mind. this is from last weekend’s swim meet, where she swam 25 breast, free, and back. she had a blast.

Spring, she is a-coming; here we go.

2018 She.is.Beautiful ‘baby mama’ 10k race report – Santa Cruz, CA

2018 She.is.Beautiful ‘baby mama’ 10k race report – Santa Cruz, CA

The Santa Cruz iteration of Run She.is.Beautiful 5k/10k has become a go-to race for me in the past few years. It has been a race that I’ve done for the past four years now, almost as long as I have lived here, when I’ve been in very different junctures in my life: in 2015, pushing A in the 5k, and freshly into my second trimester with G; in 2016, pushing a little 7 month-old G in the 10k; in 2017, pushing a bigger, heavier, and of course older G in the 10k again; and now, in 2018, pushing G in the 10k yet again, and just one day shy of 6 weeks after having a stroke.

from packet pickup in SC on Thursday

 

To run — or race — a 10k, pushing your heavy and healthy 2 ½ year old, just six weeks after having a stroke is both an exercise in humility and unwavering gratitude. I had registered for this race way back in autumn ‘18, before I had even a remote idea of how I wanted my spring racing to resemble. After the CIM high came and went, and Lisa and I started rebuilding in January, I figured that maybe I’d be able to repeat all my other SIB appearances, notch another W for the fourth consecutive year (because why not aim high, right?), and more importantly, hack off some more time from my SIB ‘17 posting. It sounded good on paper, at least. 

definitely some truth here

The stroke, of course, upended everything, but only to a degree. When I toed the line at SIB, surrounded by basically a colony’s worth of some of my friends from various running circles, Wolfpack and more, my mind wasn’t focused so much on what would surely be the physical challenges of the day — I had run exactly six times in six weeks, with all of those runs being in the ten days prior to race day, and no more than 5 miles — but instead, I just couldn’t believe that I was there, that I was physically well enough and sufficiently able-bodied post-stroke to go casually run a 10k while pushing my toddler. Oh, also, I had run with G exactly one time — for a solid 2 miles, on my first run post-stroke — so not only was I definitely out of shape, I was also intensely out of stroller running shape. (There’s a difference; ask any parent who runs pushing children). This was going to be quite a ride for sure, much like this whole post-stroke reality has been.

SIB always has great signs pre-, mid-, and post-race

I couldn’t have picked a better race to be my first foray “back” into the racing scene, and my expectations — and if I’m being honest, my goals, too — were nonexistent. I just wanted to do it. I had even told my friends that, in the days preceding the race, if my neurologist were to come back and renege on his earlier diagnosis and sideline me from running for longer, I still would have made the trip over the hill for the race, even if it meant experiencing it on the sidelines. The positivity, sense of empowerment, community, inspiration, and of course, the fun competition that this race engenders is second to none, and it’s truly up there with Thanksgiving on my “favorite days of the year” list. It means a lot because I believe in its message, that you (I, we, all of us) are good enough where we are, right now, and that we’d all do both ourselves and the world a solid by acknowledging that.

 

Wolfpack women showing up

The beauty of starting lines is the promise they hold. We’re designed in such a way that we place a lot of value on ways to demarcate our time (and our lives, really) very cleanly; in so many words, that’s why so many of us will willingly start a new habit (a better way of eating, a more regimented exercise routine, whatever) on a Monday, or on January 1, rather than some random Thursday in August. (Aside: Daniel Pink’s When talks about this in a lot more detail. It’s really fascinating. We are hardwired to do some weird shit).

Anyway, to be able to stand at an actual starting line, a real, tangible, starting line, surrounded by a sea of other people — in this case, women,  more or less around my age, some pushing kiddos around G’s age — was a very cool feeling. Couple that with the fact that I just had a medical emergency that could have very well killed me a month and a half earlier, and yeah, suffice it to say that I was thinking about starting lines in ways more profound than simply related to running.

…and friends <3

Starting lines intrigue me so much, too, because most of the time, we have close to no idea of what everyone had to do, which choices they had to make, in order to be standing at that start line, bumping shoulders with us, and yet here we all are, together, about to race alongside each other and travel the same journey. That starting line may be Runner A’s way of making an income, while it could be a PR attempt for Runner B, or a celebration of many weeks’ and months’ worth of concerted training and shattering comfort zones for Runner C. Runner D might have gotten suckered into showing up by a friend, or Runner E could be there simply because they’re alive and feel like that is reason enough. Talking about starting lines in such crunchy granola terms like this makes me sound more hippy-dippy and metaphysical than I actually am, but there’s an inherent beauty in starting lines — and in the promise they hold, the sheer opportunity and magnitude that underpins them — and sometimes, it’s easy to forget. It’s really a pretty beautiful thing when you step back and really consider it in its totality; it makes me, at least, stop and sorta behold the whole thing. 

 

nice capture by the race photographer’s drone; do you see us?

 

thanks to SIB for the free pics, too!

The SIB 10k, specifically the ‘baby mama’ division (the race category that delineates stroller-pushing runners from those running unencumbered), was my first opportunity since my stroke to see a lot of my teammates and friends from the running community. Holding my shit together was of the essence — there’s no crying in running! How can you run if you can’t see through teary eyes!? — and for the most part, I was successful. Janet and I, and our respective kiddos, ran from her friend’s house to the start line, about a mile and change, for our warm-up before hanging around for a while and catching up with many of our teammates and friends from the greater south bay running scene. I didn’t hesitate to line up right on the line, even though I knew I wouldn’t be racing at any sub-7 paces like I’ve done before in this race, and when the starting sound blared, under a somewhat ominous sky and over freshly-rained-on pavement, G and I began cruising toward the finish line.

 

with Janet and Paula and children at the start

 

an added bonus of running with the stroller is having my phone for start line pics 🙂

As much as I can tell, the course was the same, or very similar, to the 10k course in 2017. Meg passed me early on and went on to clinch the 10k baby mama W this year (which was awesome!), and I got to see a handful of 5k-running teammates at their turn-around, flying toward home. Seeing Dave and three of the four fitfam6 children around mile 2, just like last year, was a treat as always, and when my body began to make it resoundingly clear that it was sufficiently tired, I didn’t think twice about slowing down: no expectations, no goals, just sheer gratitude to be alive to be there racing with whatever I had in me on the day. G was comfortably hanging in her little sleeping bag-like stroller sack and remarkably managed to fall asleep sometime before mile 4, if I recall correctly, even with American Idiot jamming behind her head. (She’s a big Green Day fan).

HI, FRIEND! (PC: Dave/@fitfam6)

After we exited Natural Bridges, began running straight into a wall of wind, and inched our way closer to the finish line and Hoka’s half-mile-to-home finishing straight contest, somewhere in the mix, I noticed JT Service (founder of Represent Running, the race organization responsible for the Run the Bay series of events) doing crowd control. Never before I have attempted to run, while pushing a stroller, and somehow mid-run jump to the left, while never letting go of the stroller, and hug another person without breaking stride, but now I can add that trick to my repertoire. Next time, I’ll have to add the “take a picture” element to that maneuver.

another great drone capture by the event photog

 

Santa Cruz is stupid pretty sometimes (another great free pic)

Per usual with SIB, the last bit of the race, when the 5k merges with the 10k, was pretty hairy. I’m not sure how SIB can rectify the problem, short of staging the race at different times (5k before the 10k or vice-versa) or changing the course altogether to one that’d allow for wider passage, and even these changes would bring some unwanted side effects, too. In pre-race emails, I noticed that they had communicated very clearly and very explicitly that runners and walkers shouldn’t be more than two abreast, but unfortunately — as in years past — people didn’t listen, didn’t seem to know, or maybe didn’t care. It was no big deal for me this year, since I wasn’t racing competitively, but I know from years past that it can be really frustrating to be coming in hot — and pushing a stroller — and suddenly have to worry about crashing into a wall of people who can’t hear you or don’t understand (or care?) that you don’t want to break pace. Every year I want to solve this challenge, and every year I come up short.

Time to fly for the final 800m of the race (and navigate a sea of people)

As I finished the 10k, I couldn’t help but laugh at how tired I was and wondered if I had bored G to sleep, since she had been knocked out for a while and proceeded to sleep for another 30+ minutes at the post-race awards ceremony, to the backdrop of bumpin’ music and a boisterous crowd. It was awesome to see so many teammates and friends again and to meet friends of friends and re-meet Strava/IG/people I’ve met at previous races. It was also really touching to hear so many people ask me how I was doing and listen to them tell me that they had been following my story online for the past couple months. For someone who’s way more comfortable talking about my children’s exploits, or otherwise operating fairly behind the scenes, it is incredibly humbling to hear so many people tell you that they’ve been worried about you and have been thinking, praying, rooting, whatever for you and your continued good health.

    

she rarely sleeps when we run together, so I was pretty impressed.

Janet, the children, and I ran another mile cooldown back to her friend’s house, and we eventually went over to our teammate, Sam’s, beautiful home for brunch, alongside many other teammates, friends, and family members. It was an awesome morning and a long one, too; G and I left SJ around 6am for an 8:30 race and didn’t return until close to 3pm. It was wonderful.

 

cooling down along the coast with Janet and the kids

There was a time in my life, relatively recently, where I would hesitate to show up for races if I weren’t in “racing shape” because I wanted to spare myself the embarrassment and the trip on the Struggle Bus. All things considered, it would have been a lot easier for me not to run SIB for any number of obvious reasons, but running this race — showing up for both it and myself, really — mattered to me. Among other things, it signified that I was moving in the direction of recovery post-stroke — both physiologically and psychologically — and surrounding myself for a morning with some of my biggest local cheerleaders and friends whom I genuinely find inspiring and wonderful human beings, who just so happen to be runners, was good for my soul and my head. Most of us would stand to benefit a ton from doing more stuff that’s good for our souls and our heads, regardless if we’re coming off a life-threatening medical emergency or not. YOLO, right? Let us not waste our precious time on things, activities, or people who rob us of joy.

Ultimately, on SIB race day (St. Patrick’s Day!), I had run my furthest distance post-stroke (a continuous 10k and 8+ for the day), and soreness aside — the woes of getting in shape — I felt great. When I talk about my running, I always say that my joy is in the journey, and SIB is a perfect backdrop for that sentiment. If you’re local or are ever in the area, definitely put it on your calendar. (Plus, this year’s Women Who Fly winners will get to run SIB in Santa Barbara, yay! If you haven’t yet, seriously: go apply! What do you have to lose by trying?!)

Again: thank you, so much, for all your continued support and encouragement.

d’awwwwwwwwww